Malarkey

  Malarkey. That’s the word used too many times on Thursday night in the ugly CNN Presidential Debate. What is the definition of “malarkey?” From The Oxford Dictionary it means meaningless talk or nonsense. In American slang it is described as insincere; meaningless, or deliberately misleading talk; nonsense. In cruder terms, it’s a load of your least favorite excrement. 

Now I am not going to get into the ins and outs of the debate. That is for the political pundits to jump on—and have they ever. 

Remember, this is primarily a sports-themed blog and partisanship is limited to which teams one roots for or against. Not that we all didn’t draw our own conclusions about what transpired in Atlanta. 

With that in mind, let’s explore the word malarkey and its applicability to sports. And I think it has plenty of use at any given time. 

I will begin with the slumping New York Yankees. Humiliated by the surging Mets in two non-competitive games. Manager Aaron Boone attributed the losing to the ebbs and flows off the season. 

Malarkey, I say. Sitting Gleyber Torres for not running out a ground ball is not going to necessarily jump start the player nor the team. 

And the pitching has been woeful. The highly-paid starters and the no-name relievers are going into games and getting shelled. By the first inning the game is already over and it is time to merely watch Aaron Judge try to hit another moonshot home run in chase of his 2022 record of 62 homers. 

Instead, what is said is that things will sort themselves out. This is too good a team to not win the division or the American League. Period. Was Friday night’s blow out of the Blue Jays symbolic or an exception?

You know the answer. Malarkey. The lineup looks lost and lifeless in good hitting situations. The players who are on the field are reserves outside of Anthony Volpe, Juan Soto and Judge. Expectations for them to perform above their previous records is too much. 

This is a team riddled with mediocrity. George Steinbrenner would never have stood for this…this.. malarkey. He would have ordered his General Manager to get him players who could win in New York and be proud Yankees. He might have fired the coaches, catchers, a few pitchers and a number of other personnel if it meant compiling a championship team. 

Patience was never a virtue for The Boss. That mindset has permeated the fans who are frustrated that the greatest MLB franchise hasn’t won a title since 2009 and the lowly Mets dominated the allegedly pennant-bound Yankees.

I bet that they would not put up with this kind of malarkey if George was running the show. Because they wouldn’t need to. 

The Bronny James sideshow ended on Thursday when the Lakers drafted Lebron’s son.  Bronny may need some serious development before he is NBA-ready. The notion that the team which signed Lebron’s podcast partner, J.J. Redick to coach the team without any proper NBA coaching stops on his resume and will, in all likelihood, sign King James to a three year contract once James hits free agency, wasn’t going to draft his son was…malarkey. 

Furthermore, those fools in the media who believe that Bronny’s presence on the team would fracture the clubhouse cohesiveness are so wrong. Lebron is the fulcrum through which the Lakers will operate. He’s a sure-fire first ballot Hall of Fame inductee. He certainly was instrumental in the hiring of Redick, as Lakers’ brass knew they wanted to bring James back on favorable terms with a coach he would like.  

Thinking anything else is simply garbage. Which is probably another synonym for the word of the day.

The New York Knicks are hungry for a NBA championship. So much so that they gave away a ton of first round draft choices to Brooklyn to obtain Mikal Bridges, an elite shooting guard. Oh yeah—Bridges is the fourth Villanova Wildcat teammate to be on the Knicks, joining Jalen Brunson, Donte Di Vincenzo and Josh Hart. 

With the return of Julius Randle and re-signing OG Anunoby to a massive five year deal, this is a win now team. The Knicks leadership may need to restructure some salaries to keep Mitchell Robinson at center, if he isn’t traded. The finagling of NBA salaries is another whole bunch of..malarkey.

New Yorkers believe that the Knickerbockers are the Eastern Conference team to beat. But up in Boston, the afterglow from winning the title has not diminished. I always thought that malarkey belonged to the Irish, so if the C’s fans use it to describe the Knicks chances in 2024-25, then I get it. It’s just that the people in Philadelphia (unless perhaps they went to Cardinal O’Hara High School?) and Indiana may not be up on the applicability of this word unless they watched the debate. Which, odds are, they didn’t. They simply say hogwash—our teams are better. 

You want to talk about somebody who is a turncoat? That would be Jim Schlossnagle, the former baseball coach at Texas A&M. Schlossnagle steered his team to the College Baseball World Series finals, where the Aggies lost to Tennessee in three very well-played games.

In the post-game press conference after the final loss to the Vols, Schlossnagle was irate when questioned over reports he might leave for the University of Texas, A&M’s arch rival. He was indignant that such a question could possibly be asked at that time and place.

Maybe Schlossnagle was correct about etiquette. However, he sure was not good about morals or loyalty, as Coach Schloss indeed went to the Longhorns to revive the once-proud program and join Athletic Director Chris Del Conte, who he was friends with when they both resided at Texas Tech.

I anticipate that the M word is not being utilized in College Station, but could easily be spoken by UT denizens who think all this is nothing more than bull…p from a bunch of farmers out in the hinterlands. It sure adds fuel to the rivalry which will be in force with Texas’ arrival in the SEC. Don’t you just love feuds?

There was no nonsense when Florida won the Stanley Cup on Monday night. The Panthers defense swallowed up the firepower which Edmonton had displayed in tying the series after losing the first three games. I thought that Edmonton’s top players were worn out and could not manage much offense in the final minutes of the contest. 

Awarding Edmonton’s Connor McDavid the Conn Smythe Trophy while being on a losing team was met with a lot of cynicism. Many thought that Sergei Bobrovsky, the Florida goalie, merited it more. 

I say malarkey to that thought. McDavid was spectacular. He was very deserving of the award, which he did not claim, as he was so distraught after losing the final game. I hope he has many more Stanley Cup Finals in his career. 

So I think I have made my point. Political metaphors can translate to sport. 

Or, possibly everything I said was pointless. A lot like the debate. Where there was loads of malarkey.